that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
