i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
