I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
