I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
