pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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