whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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