so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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