also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just forgot I was standing up.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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