puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He shit in the fireplace
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
