Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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