I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When are your genitals available?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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