Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize