I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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