Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we're making bets on your personal life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
