Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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