Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
