I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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