Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
