Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
