you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
