We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
