I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
