Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wear drunk well.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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