They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
