I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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