I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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