Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
