dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
