You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize