yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
