$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
