don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
