I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
