dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
