I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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