I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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