Where is the hickey?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
