you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
