I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When are your genitals available?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
