bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
