You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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