Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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