Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
