You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
