i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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