period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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