Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
