it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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