She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
