Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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