I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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