You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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