He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
porn star boner night. come get it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
