And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
