i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
