Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
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I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Two words: nipple clamps
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