Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize