He had one of those small greek statue penises
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
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I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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