If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
