brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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