Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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