I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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