I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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