so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
