In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
