Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize