So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
