Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
